Judaism traditionally considers marriage to be the ideal state of personal existence; a man without a wife, or a woman without a husband, is considered incomplete.

Engagement

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In Jewish law, engagement is defined as the mutual promise between a man and a woman to have a marriage at some future time and the terms on which it shall take place. The promise may be made by the intending parties or by their respective parents or other relatives on their behalf. This promise is formalized in a document known as the Shtar Tena'im, the "Document of Conditions", and, at Orthodox weddings, is read prior to the badekin. After this reading, the custom is to have the mothers of the bride and groom break a plate, for luck.

In Haredi circles, engagements for marriage may be brought about by a third person, often a professional match-maker ("shadchan"). The shadchan often receives a "brokerage-fee" agreed upon by custom, paid by the parties. In these situations, even though the marriage preliminaries are the concern of the parents, the children are not forced into marriage over their objections, nor may a marriage be blocked as a result of the objections of one's parents. The Shidduchim system is therefore a system of arranged introductions rather than arranged marriages, although in some traditional circles it comes to a system of arranged marriages. Even in cases where a formal shadchan is not used, it remains common for the person introducing the prospective bride and groom to each other to remain involved and act as an intermediary, or informal shadchan, when necessary.